Shave and a Haircut...I quit!

Getting my hair cut (and colored for that matter) is a bittersweet topic for my life.  On one hand, I love the change, the excitement and the newness.  On the other hand, I always seem to have bad experiences, anxiety, stress and sometimes regret. 

Before I get into the story of the most recent event...I wanted to share my personal list of  "things your hair stylist should never say":
--"Do you color your hair at home?!"
--"Wow, when was the last time you got your hair cut?"
--"Is it hot in here?" (while nervously wiping sweat from their brow)
--"And, you need your bangs trimmed too, riiiggghhtt??" (when you are there to get highlights)
--"I know, our swatch book isn't very good, most of these colors are pretty ugly."
--"Your so pale that this color wouldn't look good on you."
--"No, there's nothing I can do about the "choppy" appearance."
--"Have you ever thought about growing your hair out?" (when your hair is extremely short--is that a hint?)

I believe there should be some sort of  "code of conduct" for Hair Stylists across the nation.  Here are some things I would cover:
--Lesson 1: Most people have ears.  Now, the dummy you practiced on in beauty school might not have, but real people do.  So when you are combing their hair, you should lift your comb as you approach an ear! 
--Lesson 2: How to blow dry someone's hair without scalding their scalp.
--Lesson 3: How to ask appropriate questions.  When I sit down in a stylist chair, I shouldn't feel like I'm being interrogated "downtown".  I do not wish to share the personal details of my life with you.
--Lesson 4: Answering your cell phone during a hair cut is definitely frowned upon.
--Lesson 5: Whispering gossip about other hair stylists or other customers to your client is unprofessional...and uncomfortable.
--Lesson 6: Let the client know what you are doing next.  If you've decided to cut some of the hair wet, blow dry it and cut the rest dry--let them know.  That way the client isn't left sitting in fear through the whole blow dry.

It's probably obvious from everything above that I have had several unpleasant salon experiences.  And my last one was no exception. 
Now, I finally found a hair stylist I liked...she's the one who cut my hair from kind of short to really short...found here.  But, just my luck, she left on a leave of absence for 3 months...and those with short hair know that I'd definitely be needing a haircut during a 3 month's time. So the salon booked me with someone else.
I specified that I'd be needing someone who is good at cutting short hair and the lady on the phone quickly assured me it'd be fine.  So I tried to feel positive about the experience and even came prepared with a picture of my hair right after my original stylist did it.
The experience began with lack luster shampoo and I knew I was doomed.  Once he began cutting, I began to get nervous due to a combination of things going on...the first being the amount he was sweating, then the number of times he was dropping combs (3 in total), and then the amount of time it was taking him to cut my already short hair.  Then it dawned on me..."if he screws this up, I don't have much hair to work with!!  How would they fix it?  Shave my head??"
I knew once he asked, "is it hot in here or is just me?" that I wasn't imagining the sweat beads pouring off his forehead.  All I wanted to do was jump up and run out.  Or actually, more realistically, I wanted to say, "do you think you could get another stylist to finish me up?"  But I couldn't. Instead I settled for staring in horror at the mirror while white-knuckling it in the salon chair.  (Keep in mind, that I'm skipping the part about him giving me the 3rd degree about my life...quesions including, "are you a college student?", "wow, you're married?!", and "you work in retail?")
After a pain-stakingly long time, the hair cut was over.  As I examined the haircut, I knew something was wrong.  it looked like he took a weed wacker to the sides of my head while also leaving a baby mullet as a surprise in the back...eegats!  What do I say!?  I politely asked if he could "blend" the sides better, to which he told me..."that's just how it's going to look with your highlights...that's why you should always get your hair cut and colored at the same time".
I left feeling very sad but hopeful I could "work with it" when I got home.  After about a week of showing everyone I knew and saying, "see?? see?? That's pretty bad, right?"...I finally called the salon and complained.  They gladly agreed to fix it, which they did and it looked great afterward.
So there is a happy end to this story...my hairstylist has returned from her leave of absence.  I just might hug her at my next appointment!